How People Change
Have you ever wondered why real change feels so hard, even when you know the right things, believe the gospel, and genuinely want to grow?
Most of us assume change happens by trying harder, fixing our behavior, or getting our circumstances under control. But over time, many of us discover something unsettling: despite our best efforts, we keep circling back to the same patterns, struggles, and heartache.
Scripture shows us that lasting change doesn’t start with behavior, it starts with the heart.
The framework shown below is drawn primarily from his book "How People Change", by Paul David Tripp and Timothy Lane, along with Tripp’s broader body of work (e.g., Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, New Morning Mercies, and many lectures).
STEP 1: See Clearly
We don’t see life as it is. We see it through the lens of what we worship.
GOAL: Clarify the real problem beneath symptoms.
We must see ourselves honestly in light of Scripture.
Most people come in focused on behavior, circumstances, or emotions. But the real issue is always the heart.
We must diagnose:
What am I loving?
What am I trusting?
What am I fearing?
Change begins when we stop blaming and start seeing.
Reflection:
“What do I think will make this situation better?”
“What do I believe God is doing in your life right now?”
“What feels most threatening to my sense of well-being?”
STEP 2: Confess Honestly
God doesn’t change us by force, but by invitation to relationship.
GOAL: Own sin, pain, misplaced trust, and patterns of unbelief.
Once people see the heart, they must respond in honest humility. This includes:
Naming sins
Lamenting pain
Acknowledging unbelief
Confessing self-rule or false saviors
It’s important we move from casual theology to real conviction.
Scripture reading: Psalm 32, 51; James 4:6–10
Heart level confession to God is not just “I messed up,” but rather “I trusted in ____ instead of You.”
STEP 3: Repent Deeply and Regularly
Repentance is not just turning away from sin, it's turning toward God in love.
GOAL: Reorient worship, trust, and identity around Christ.
Many people repent of behaviors, but we’re invited to:
Repent of what we were worshiping
Turn from false hope, not just wrong actions
Renounce the lie: “Life without God will be better” We may not say that statement outload, but every behavior contrary to God’s instruction is functionally living out this statement.
Repentance is not a task. It’s a return to relationship.
Reflection:
“What lie did I believe about God in that moment?”
“What did I want more than I wanted Him?”
“What would trust look like instead?”
STEP 4: Believe the Gospel
Lasting change doesn’t happen by trying harder. It happens by believing better — as faith lays hold of Christ right where the struggle is happening.
GOAL: Apply Christ’s finished work into direct contact with the heart struggle
People change when they apply gospel truth in the moment of struggle:
Because I am united to Him, I am not alone in this suffering.
Because Christ has already secured my acceptance, I don’t have to prove myself here.
Because God is wise, sovereign, and good, I can release control even when I don’t understand.
Because my identity is in Christ, this situation cannot define me.
Paul David Tripp calls this “living as if the gospel is real right now,” allowing Christ’s finished work to reinterpret the moment I’m in.
The gospel may not remove the “heat.” But it does rescues the heart from false allegiances inside the hard circumstance, producing new fruit over time.
Scripture reading: Romans 6–8, 2 Corinthians 5, Galatians 2:20
STEP 5: Live in New Obedience
The grace that forgives is the same grace that empowers.
GOAL: Take practical steps of obedience as a response to grace.
Obedience doesn’t earn anything, it flows from love.
Rather than asking, “What should I do?” we ask: “What does it look like to trust God here?”
Obedience often begins small — choosing faith over fear, humility over self-protection, love over control.
Celebrate Spirit-enabled fruit: love, peace, forgiveness, humility
Practical:
Identify one concrete step of obedience that expresses trust this week, even if it feels costly or uncomfortable.
Practice thinking in line with truth rather than old patterns of belief.
Remain anchored in prayer, Scripture, and the life of the church, where growth is sustained over time.
Summary: Process of Change Process
See Clearly | Identify the real issue: the heart and its objects of worship, not just symptoms/circumstances
Confess Honestly | Acknowledge and own sin, unbelief, and emotional resistance before God
Repent Deeply |Turn from false saviors and realign your heart to God’s character and promises
Believe the Gospel | Apply Christ’s work to your identity, fears, hopes, and needs
Live in Obedience | Take small, grace-fueled steps of trust that lead to real transformation
